February 13, 2008 – A step closer to being together

Sutter Memorial Hospital is almost exactly fifteen miles away from home.  Thankfully, the drives back and forth, for the most part, have been free and clear of the ever-increasing traffic in the Sacramento region.  Even when I am caught in a spot of congestion, I always look forward to the last leg of the commute on H Street near McKinley Park.  There’s something about the surroundings in East Sacramento that brings about a particularly calming effect for me.  Maybe it’s the mature trees that line each side of the street, in an almost procession-like symmetry, or watching the local residents taking a carefree walk with their dogs around the perimeter of the venerable park.  No matter what it is, I find the last two miles near the hospital to be an ideal time for me to pray to the Lord.  When I am approaching the hospital, I usually ask Him for good news with the twins and peace to accept answers that I may not want to hear.  As I depart, I typically thank Him for giving my girls another victorious day as well as those of you that have surrounded us with your love in such a way that allows us to be able to spend more time at the hospital.        

During our drive to see Katelynn and Daria this morning, Jenn-Jen and I reflected back on yesterday’s events and it warmed our hearts.  Incremental progress is always a good thing, but reaching milestones builds our confidence levels and reminds us how strong hope can be.  We talked about how Katelynn’s cries were so moving and laughed at how her sneeze could be the cutest thing we have ever heard.  Despite all of the positive events that ensued yesterday, we desperately long for Daria to catch up with her sister so we can hold her in our arms too.

I’m not exactly sure why the hospital has been so busy these past few days, but parking has been a persistent challenge.  Drivers circle the lot, chase down pedestrians to find out if they are leaving, and race from aisle to aisle to nab that potential parking space before their adversaries get to it first.  I confess, I am no better when it comes to the hunt for parking, but I have become wiser in dropping off Jenn-Jen first so I can spare her the frustration.  When I finally found a spot, I walked briskly up to the NICU only to find Jenn-Jen wasn’t at Daria’s side.  I was about to leave to go to Room E, where Katelynn has been sequestered since the RSV scare a few days ago, when I noticed that my wife was peeking into a different incubator across from Daria’s.  My first thought was that they moved Daria over to another spot in Room B, but Jenn-Jen’s beaming face confused me completely.  It finally dawned upon me that they moved Katelynn over to join her sister!  I am ecstatic to say that the girls are now within ten feet of each other.  This may not seem very monumental, but having the twins in the same room means less shuttling between different rooms and a significant reduction in the frequency of our hand washings required before you enter each room.  If you could see or feel our over-washed hands, you might confuse them for fine grit sandpaper.  It just feels wonderful to get the twins closer together and the next step will be to have them in the same incubator when Daria is ready for her ET tube to be removed.

Katelynn continues to be taking her own breaths steadily and the added oxygen is at very low settings.  We spoke with the neonatologist and were pleased to learn that there be will no longer be a need for her TPN and lipid IV drip, which means that she will be relying solely on Jenn-Jen’s milk (at a rate of 4.5 milliliters per hour) for her nutrition.  To boost Katelynn’s weight gain, they will add a fortifying agent to increase the number of calories, but this is very good news to hear.  The only unwelcome news came with the results of her head ultrasound yesterday.  The doctor is seeing a slight increase in the size of her brain ventricles, but not enough to be overly concerned.  The nurses will continue to monitor Katelynn’s head circumference each day and we pray that there won’t be any sudden or rapid increase.   

Daria remains calm and serene, which is a welcome sight compared to the discomfort we watched her experience a few days ago.  Her antibiotics treatment changed a little, as the doctor is no longer using Ampicillin.   He decided to keep Daria on Gentamicin and added Ceftazidime, which worked well with Katelynn’s infection.  We have seen a dramatic decrease in her oxygen desaturations, so from a respiratory perspective, things are continuing to look positive.  Her doctor also decided that her blood pressure was within normal parameters, so the last dose of hydrocortisone was cancelled.  As for Daria’s recent head ultrasound, the results were encouraging.  The IVH has not progressed into a definite grade 3 or 4, and the doctor still believes that it should be currently graded at a 2.  So, as it is with Katelynn, these head ultrasounds will continue on a weekly basis to monitor any changes.  As there are no other medications that may affect her feedings, Daria is now receiving 1.5 milliliters of milk per hour. 

To end our time with the girls today, I performed my first diaper change on Katelynn and agreed to hold her to promote the beneficial skin-to-skin contact that aids in infant development.  Changing diapers don’t scare me in the least, as my wonderful Adam has created some experiences that I may never forget.  Nonetheless, Katelynn just seems so tiny and fragile.  Her legs are no thicker than my fingers and that diaper looks big enough to fit her entire body.  With the aid of the nurse, I successfully changed Katelynn and felt proud of my small accomplishment.  Holding her in my arms would be an entirely different story…

If you’ve spent any significant time in the NICU, you’ll grow accustomed to the limited space between each baby’s station and simply forget about any expectation of privacy.  I knew I was coming in today with the goal of letting Katelynn rest on my bare chest, to promote skin contact and help her bond with us, so I dressed appropriately in a button-down shirt.  I came in thinking I’ll just pop off a few buttons and that would suffice.  Of course, all of the buttons needed to come off and Room B somehow seemed packed with many more people as compared to before.  Jokingly, I asked for a privacy screen that mothers request when they wish to breastfeed their babies.  Another nurse happened to pass by and said “Maybe it’s just better that I don’t know…”  After Jenn-Jen and I stopped laughing, Katelynn was placed on my chest and a warm blanket was draped on top of her.  When she snuggled in close, it felt like the comfort you receive when you come home after a long, exhausting journey.  It was amazing how small she is, but even more amazing was how serenely she was resting on her father, who was trying in all earnest not to feel stiff and worried that he would accidentally drop his baby girl.

As the minutes passed by and we drew near to the dreaded 2:45 PM shift change, or eviction notice, I became more relaxed and savored every moment holding my dear Katelynn.  I could feel her warmth and felt so much satisfaction in hearing her make her newborn baby noises.  Listening to her beautiful voice, I stopped to think, is this what God feels when we come to him in prayer and worship?  I closed my eyes and prayed that we would have Daria in our arms soon too, and then it happened…  I felt the vibration first and then the undeniable sound “Pffftttth” came out loud and strong like a horn.  My angelic Katelynn was comfortable enough in her Daddy’s chest to have a bowel movement.  Way to go Katelynn!  Hey, diapers are a gift from God.