February 22, 2008 – An emotional milestone reached

February 22nd… is that right?  I am looking at my wall calendar and it just does not seem right.  Today is Friday, and unfortunately, it is the last day of paid time off I plan to take before Katelynn and Daria come home.  Somehow it still seems unreal that I have been away from work since January 28th, the day the twins were born.  That was exactly twenty five days ago, but it really does feel like I have been away for at most a week.  Going back to work on Monday will take some adjustment, as I have been able to put all of my focus on my family this whole time.  It is hard to believe that the girls will still be in the hospital for a few months, at the minimum, while life for me will take a step back towards how things used to be before Jenn-Jen was admitted to the hospital.  I anticipate I will feel a little drained beginning on Monday, as our new schedule will probably mean Jenn-Jen spends daytime hours at hospital, while I see Katelynn and Daria at night.  Somehow, I have a feeling I will be drinking a little more coffee in the near future. 

As Jenn-Jen is completely free from her cold and much more recovered from childbirth, we were actually able to spend eleven hours at the hospital today.  The time with Katelynn and Daria was priceless, as we were able to hold the girls and watch them snuggle up to sleep to the soothing sound of our heartbeats.  There was a bittersweet joy in my soul when I was finally able to hold Daria, a agonizingly long twenty five days after her birth.  This was also the first time we were able to hold Katelynn since her surgery to implement her ventricular access device.  The nurses offered to let me hold the girls two days ago, as well as yesterday, but I could not allow myself to do so without Jenn-Jen being here.  Waiting was excruciating, but watching Jenn-Jen hold the girls was well worth the test of my patience.  We spent hours holding Katelynn and Daria, and we could have spent more if shift change did not occur. 

Today was also very special because we were able to take our very first family picture.  I know many of you have been asking for photos, and I am hoping to be able to share some with you sometime soon.  In many ways, taking this photo is another emotional milestone for Jenn-Jen and me.  Three weeks ago, we desperately feared that we would never be able to capture a picture of the five of us.  Back then, both of the girls were fighting so hard for survival and we kept praying for God to breathe life and strength into their frail little bodies.  Today, we claim a victory and thank the Lord for giving us our family, complete and whole. 

As Katelynn and Daria continue to grow next to each in their bed, we are seeing some interesting differences.  Katelynn has steadily taken the lead in terms of physical growth, as she weighed in at 930 grams or 2 pounds 1 ounce this evening.  Daria’s weight tonight was 800 grams or 1 pound 12 ounces, which is considerably less than her sister.  When you see the girls side by side, their size difference is extremely noticeable.  Daria is now taking six milliliters of fortified breast milk per hour, while Katelynn is taking in three unfortified milliliters per hour alongside TPN and lipids.  We hope that Katelynn will continue to tolerate the feedings and will get to the point where she will take breast milk without any supplemental nutrition. 

Although both of the twins experienced oxygen desaturations through the day, Katelynn will remain on room air without additional oxygen and Daria actually had her nasal cannula pressure reduced to 0.75 liters of pressure.  The plan is to wean Daria off supplemental oxygen, which will probably take a number of days.  Still, it will be a relief to see one less tube attached to our daughter.  I am praying that Daria’s lungs will continue to strengthen each day and we see decreasing episodes of these desaturations.

I want to thank you, my dear friends and family, again for all of your support since our unexpected crisis started back on January 18th.  It has been a little over a month now, but during this time, we have learned so much about the love that God provides through you as His messengers.  I think of you often during the day and want you to know how much you are appreciated.  When the girls come home, we look forward to celebrating with all of you, and one day when Katelynn and Daria are old enough to understand, we will share with them these precious memories.  We are truly blessed.