September 30, 2008 to October 7, 2008 – Wild Swings (the bad)

The United States continues to be in what appears to be a poisoned and paralyzed economic state.  Despite the Senate and House of Representatives passing a revised $700 billion government bailout package late last week, the Dow Jones Industrial Average closed at 9,447.11 this afternoon and painfully shed another 508.39 points.  As the index has reached a five year low, many investors are downtrodden, and my heart goes out to those facing financial loss that may impact their retirement or other life-changing plans.

This battered financial path of recent weeks is, unfortunately, not so different than our family situation here at home.  In my last post, I shared some of the positive developments that have strengthened our spirits as of late.  Today, I must bring everything back into perspective and show the proverbial half-empty glass.  Jenn-Jen and I are sick, tired and quite nervous of what is to come.  Nonetheless, for those of you that know me well enough, I remain a tempered optimist and it is always through the challenges that I turn to my faith for renewal and guidance.  With all that has happened, I can certainly use a heaping serving of each.  Let me begin with the macro, encompassing issues that are affecting our family, namely the challenges of illness and an eminent cross-country business trip.

A couple of weeks ago, Jenn-Jen spoke the ominous words that we hoped so much not to hear: “I think I may be getting sick.”  Despite the immediate deployment of our countermeasure of choice, Zicam, my wife began showing cold symptoms within the next forty eight hours.  As much as we would have wanted to quarantine Jenn-Jen to keep the remainder of our family healthy, it simply was not an option, given the responsibilities and demands that come with the badge of being a mother of multiples.  It did not take long before the virus spread, first to Katelynn and then to me.  Today, we suspect Daria is afflicted as well, and Adam is coughing suspiciously every so often.  The constant hand washing and other infection prevention protocols simply were not enough to prevent an outbreak.

In simple terms, this cold bug has made life around the house very challenging.  The most difficult part is watching Katelynn fight the nasal congestion that has been causing her to struggle through her feedings.  Infants instinctively breathe through their noses, so the mucus buildup creates an enormous amount of respiratory difficulty for our poor baby.  I imagine what she is going through is similar to trying to drink a cup of water while holding your nose.  While Jenn-Jen and I are taking decongestants, expectorants and analgesics to diminish the irritating symptoms, Katelynn’s age precludes her from using any of the medications we almost take for granted.  Instead, we try to keep her unplugged by using a bulb syringe to suction out her nasal passages and use our Vick’s humidifier in the nursery when the girls are sleeping.  Through nothing short of a miracle from God, both Katelynn and Daria are still able to sleep relatively sound and peaceful throughout the night.  As a precaution, I continue to spend my sleeping hours in the guest room next to the baby monitor.  I am just thankful that I am able to fall asleep quickly, even after interruption.

Probably the second greatest challenge in dealing with this first cold for the girls is keeping quiet and calm during the five feeds Katelynn and Daria each take during the day.  When I speak of quiet and calm, I am actually referring to the need for Jenn-Jen and me to try to suppress our cold symptoms while we are cradling one of twins during a feeding.  The mere act of letting out a sneeze or chest cough can immediately kill the momentum of a good feed, and nowadays, that momentum is treasured dearly.  As much as we want to relieve that pressure and urge, which actually only helps migrate the virus to the rest of our surroundings, Jenn-Jen and I find often find ourselves painfully holding everything in.  I truly hope this ends soon.

On top of our family’s seasonal health issues, we are struggling with an inevitable business trip that is looming around the corner.  In a few days, I will need to pack my bags for a five-day trip to Orlando to attend my company’s flagship Symposium event.  A few months ago when I agreed to attend, my mindset was hopeful that Katelynn and Daria would be thriving and feeding well by the time this trip became imminent.  While the girls are thriving in many ways, it is no surprise that their feedings remain as our most difficult challenge surrounding our day-to-day life at home.  We are doing all we can to concentrate the scheduling of our key respite workers and my sisters to help while I am across the country, but somehow it still does not feel like it will be enough to keep Jenn-Jen afloat until my return.  With my parents away in China until the end of the month, I am grateful to have any help that is offered.  My hope is that the girls’ feedings will improve to the point where someone other than Jenn-Jen is able to give them their bottle in a reasonable amount of time.

Where I can use the most prayer surrounding my upcoming trip is that I will not be worried and distracted.  During this business trip, which I have taken each year for the past six, the itinerary will keep me busy throughout the day and evenings.  It is actually quite a mental and physical drain to balance the daily agenda activities along with the responsibilities of my workload provided by my non-attending clientele.  Just the thought that Jenn-Jen is back at home struggling to make sure all of the children are doing well is quite daunting.  To outsiders it may not seem like much to fuss about, but we strive so much to do all we can to ensure that Katelynn and Daria are given everything possible to help them develop normally.  We place a large amount of importance in the nourishment of the twins, as their weight gain is, in many respects, the most tangible barometer to measure if they are thriving.  Given all of the feeding challenges that have worn us out, my absence puts a very large wrench in the routine and system that we have put together over the months.  My mindset is that I must travel to Florida, do the best I can for my company and return as quickly as I possibly can to offer reinforcement back home.  At least I had the prudence to schedule a couple of days off work after I come back to devote my complete attention to my family.

Besides the annoying cold bug and my upcoming trip, we are fighting other battles that seem to take up much more time and energy than I would prefer.  One of the most offending nuisances is the marked increase of pigeons that have taken up residence on our rooftop.  The number of birds this year has grown to such a level that they are creating a visible mess of droppings and feathers around the front of our house.  I already asked our pest control company for advice, but they are holding off work on two story structures as they hammer out issues regarding liability and insurance.  A neighbor of mine recommended a local chimney service to help set up spikes and metal mesh screens to make our roof less attractive, but I simply have not had an opportunity to schedule a consultation.  Friends jokingly recommend that I purchase a high-power BB gun and declare open season on the offending creatures.  I would be lying if I told the thought does not cross my mind every day, especially when I see the droppings accumulating on my driveway and on a window sill near my front door.  I honestly do not think I have ever hated pigeons more in my life as I do now.  Unfortunately, this may need to wait until late next week at the soonest before I can devote the time to take back my rooftop.  In case you are wondering, the only thing I have fired at the birds is water through the “Power Wash” setting on my hose nozzle.  Obviously, that did help improve the situation, and only showed me how large of a flock I am going to need to control.  My pest control technician did tell me that we should start seeing a decrease in the number of birds as the weather cools.  Right now we are in the low eighties for our high temperatures during the day, so that decrease seems like it may be quite far on the horizon.

Additionally, I am stunned at the amount of work it takes for me to straighten out problems on insurance claims that have been miscoded or mishandled in one form or another.  With the large number of medical professionals that have seen Katelynn and Daria since their birth, I know the laws of probability are not in our favor that we would be able to emerge from this unscathed and error-free.  Each time I look at one of the evidence of insurance statements that seem to come almost every other day in the mail, I am floored that each of my girls have amassed over one million dollars of medical bills during the course of their hospital stays.  Sometimes I feel as if I am an accountant when I look through the filed claims, the amounts that are covered by insurance, and the portion that we are responsible for as copayments.  I really do not have the luxury of pouring over the inordinate amount of paperwork that documents all of the twins’ treatments, and every once in a while an overdue payment letter catches my attention.  I have been on the phone several times with several organizations to straighten out other people’s errors, and this just seems to be unending.

There are many more grievances and challenges that deplete our diminishing reserves of energy and patience, but we are still trying our best to stay hopeful.  Despite my groaning and complaints, I am eager to get through this cold, come back from my business trip, take care of those dastardly pigeons and make sure we are not getting any more incorrect medical bills.  When I step back and look at the bigger picture, I do count my blessings when I see how far we have come as a family.  As impatient as I may become during the trials and tribulations that daily life can bring, I try to imagine that uncomfortable grinding feeling I am experiencing at the moment is simply the hand of God working to sharpen and prepare me for tomorrow.

So, despite going through this sinking feeling that seems to mimic the stock market, I try to tell myself that we should be near the bottom soon.  I am just trying to be patient for the rebound.  My dear friends and family please do keep us in your prayers, especially after my departure on Saturday.